What I do for a living?

Quick question readers. Do I look like a drug dealer?

Seriously.

Ok, story goes like this, I’m getting picked up outside my pad. I’m waiting for my boy to get me, wearing track pants, sneakers, toque, leather jacket and my UBC sweater. I’m just waiting minding my own business when two dudes approach me.

First guy is a scraggly looking cat and his buddy is a heavy set guy, they look like just some typical granola eating, nature hiking white folks. Anyway, they walk by me once then all of a sudden about halfway down the block they turn and approach me again. First guy asks me:

“Hey, you know where I can get some weed?”

“Not around here man, but good luck to you.”

I admit it, this isn’t the first time this has happened to me, and I could smell the bacon on these guys a mile away, but the plot thickens. I’m waiting around again and this real skinny looking guy walking with a limp comes up. This dude is obviously a, and for those of you haven’t guessed from the sparse description already given, then let me elaborate, a crackhead. A straight-up, I love rock, and I got doodoo on my clothes, crackhead.

“ey man, you got some shit I can score?”

“No”

What the hell! Do I fit the description of a drug dealer? Tell me, cuz I got to know. I don’t even know what drug dealers are supposed to look like. Normally, I wouldn’t pay it no mind, but two seemingly separate people, asking me for drugs in a 15 minute span? With that volume, I might have gotten into the wrong business.

Frigg’in NARCs.

Who needs Disneyland?

Remember field trips?

You know back in high school or elementary school, you and the class would get on the big yellow bus with the teacher a couple of chaperones. Get your parents to sign a permission letter. Maybe you would visit a museum, or go roller-skating, ice-skating, Chuck E. Cheese’s, take a nature hike, hit the beach or lake or if the carnival was in town, or the state fair, or maybe even go-karting.

It didn’t really matter where you were going, everyone loved field trips just because it meant you didn’t have to go to school and only those suckers that didn’t get their permission slip signed had to stay behind and clean the chalk boards or something.

Well, after hearing this story a couple of days ago, you can add another destination to the roster of field trip possibilities. What better place to take a high school field trip then a...wait for it... maximum-security state penitentiary.

That’s right, you are not misreading this, friend of a friend was talking about her field trip to a maximum-security prison. Don’t get it twisted, this wasn’t a Scared Straight type program or a cautionary tale to D.A.R.E. to keep the kids off drugs. It was a field trip designed to show the kids the prison, give them a tour, explain the history of it, basically show ‘em around the joint.

When you think about it, this is a great idea. What better place to take a group of high school students than a maximum state prison? Who better to parade in front of rapists, murderers and pedophiles than a bunch of high school girls?

Get this, besides touring the grounds, they got to visit the cells, and even had the opportunity to eat with the prison population in the cafeteria. Apparently, according to my source, the cuisine left a little to be desired. How’s this for a bonus?

“We even got to see a fight!”

Man, I don’t think I would have gotten mom to sign the slip for this one.

Visit the joint or clean the chalkboards? Label me a sucker, those boards are important and someone's gotta clean 'em, where do I sign up?

I guess the roller rink was closed that day.

My Favorite Blogs

I figured out how to link sites on here, so check out some of my favorite blogs (besides my own).

Question Answered

Allen Iverson wants out of Philly. I’m surprised it took this long for this to happen. What appalls me about the whole situation is the disrespect the Sixers organization is showing him. They shopped him in the offseason despite the fact that they told him to his face that he was staying. And AI still said he wanted to be in Philly. To make matters worse, in the war of public opinion, the mainstream media is probably going to side with the hapless owners trying to accommodate the disgruntled, overpaid, hip-hopping, and not to mention black athlete.

Do you remember why AI is public enemy #1?

As this situation gets uglier, let’s remember the cornrows and the tattoos. How about the “gangster” element of the people AI surrounds himself with who are bringing him down as we speak. Also remember, this is a player who has been playing at a high level for over 10 years in the L. Someone with scoring titles, all star appearances and until recently, always got his teams in the playoffs.

Why don’t we remember about what a selfish player AI is and how he doesn’t make the players around him better. Also remember that unlike MJ, Magic, Dr J, Larry, Zeke, Hakeem, Wilt, Oscar, and pretty much every champion that has preceded him, Answer has never played alongside another Hall of Famer.

As long as we remember AI the malcontent, lets remember AI the coach killer. Poor Mo Cheeks! He’s just trying his best. What could be smarter than benching a (despite the knees) guy who drops 20 and 10? “Yeah Allen, I know he’s our second best player, but you know, 20 mins a game is good enough.” AI of course is expected to accept this.

We all of course know that AI was such a headache that it drove Larry Brown away. I mean, it’s not like Larry Brown takes a job, wears out his welcome and openly looks for another job while still employed at said job? As long as we’re remembering this tumultuous relationship, do you remember when the Sixers made it to the finals, and they tried to interview AI on-court and he refused to give the interview? What possible excuse could he have for being so uncooperative!?!?

Before he did anything, he wanted to congratulate “Coach Brown.”

In fact, we all remember that Coach Brown and AI were so much at odds that Coach Brown made AI a co-captain on the Olympic team. In fact, the Brown/Iverson relationship was so strained that it showed last year when Larry was in NY. Don’t you remember? Remember how Allen said that the Knicks should “listen to Coach Brown.” Sounds like a coach killer to me.

Which brings us back to the Olympics. We all remember how the Americans couldn’t shoot or share the ball and co-captain Iverson is a living symbol of that selfish American play. But didn’t he lead the tournament in assists? Of course AI was selfish. The truth is in the media. What did Allen have to say about the Olympics? He had the nerve to say how important this experience was to him, and how proud he was to represent his country and win the bronze. Just to prove his point further, he had tears in his eyes on the podium ceremony. Sure sounds like a selfish malcontent to me.

How about we remember how Allen never got the Sixers over the hump. Just as long as you remember that this team has one of the highest payrolls in the L. What does that buy nowadays? Igoudala, Will Green and Kyle Korver, not to mention an over the hill C-Webb.

Most damning, don’t we all remember the press conference with the “practice” meltdown? He doesn’t practice! That lazy son of a bitch! What if he doesn’t play hard every game? Oh wait. What if he doesn’t play hurt? Oh wait. What if his skills go downhill? I guess we already been over this point.

Besides, it’s not like we remember that before the “practice” tirade, Allen had to talk about the brutal murder of his best friend. Putting things into perspective, it’s a tough call to balance the importance of the death of a dear friend against the importance of practice.

“We’re talking about practice.”

So as the trade talks come to a fever, and AI once again becomes public enemy #1, remember AI the player, but most importantly, remember AI the man.

Remember Kevin Johnson.

The Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury ****1/2

I have to admit, when Lord Willin' hit I was one of those people that dismissed the album as just more of that "fake gangsta shit." But it was hard to deny the anthem quality of "Grindin" and even the hardest backpacker couldn’t deny spittin’ along the first couple of verses, "top down. chrome spinning..." of "When the Last Time." So here we are a few years later with hip-hop probably as weak as its ever been and after some major label drama, the Clipse drop Hell Hath No Fury.

Considering how long it took for this album to be released, it could serve as a lesson for other artists to quit saturating the market with rushed projects designed to capitlize on being the flavor of the month. Simply put, this album is banging, and is probably one of the best albums I heard since the Black Album or Be.

Instead of outsourcing the production to the usual roster of hot producers that'll give em their leftovers, production on this work is handled entirely by the Neptunes. As a result, the chemistry shines through as Chad and Pharrel tailor-make every beat to the strengths of Pusha T and Malice.

Hell starts with "We Got it for Cheap," which is a typical Scarface homage. The beat's a simple riff with a pounding bass-line with some dude that sounds like your buddy 'Spanish' doing his best Tony Montana impression as the hook. It sounds like a juicy, grimey freestyle you wish you recorded.

At 12 bangin' tracks, this is one of those albums that you don't hit the fwd button on. Though the subject matter of "I slang dope, I got a lot of money" seems old and tired, the Clipse deliver it with so much flair and bravado that you can't help but cheer for the bad guy. The hooks are clever and creative as evidenced by "while I'm shovelling the snow, man call me Frosty."

The only real downside of this album is the monotony of the subject matter. Put it this way, if you don't like hearing about dealing cocaine, then this album's not for you. But even with the slight lyrical shortcomings, there's no denying that the Neptunes put some work in where the beats not only sound dope, but literally like they from another planet.

I never thought I would say this about the Clipse, but with the chemistry, production, arrogance, and consistency, this is probably the best rap duo since Erik and Parish. With how thin the game is, cop this album...NOW.

Ralph & Sam

Two times in a week?

I'm surprised myself. Learning something everyday.

One of these new phenomenons I'm observing in my integration into office culture is the Christmas party. I never understood why these things existed. Hell, with all the different types of religions and beliefs kicking around, you would think these things would eventually go the way of the dodo. However, whether it be through clever marketing, or the sentimentality that attaches to I think anyone as the year draws to a close, people seem to gravitate towards this time of year as a relaxing of the belt. In other words, we view our fellow drones at the job as people instead of cogs in the machine.

Maybe this is pretty obvious from my previous posts or even if you know me, but I watched alot of cartoons. If you ever watched Looney Tunes, they had this bit called "Ralph and Sam." I think one of them was a wolf and the other was a dog. Anyway, the bit always started with Ralph and Sam punching the clock and saying, "morning Ralph," followed by a "morning Sam." Then as they enter the field of work, the wolf tries to steal sheep while the dog beats the shit out of him everytime. Long and the short of it is the wolf and the dog pound each other (save for coffee and lunch breaks) till the day comes to an end and Ralph and Sam proceed to punch out and always end the day with "g'night Ralph" and "see ya tomorrow Sam."

The point of the story?

See, that's what the xmas party is all about. Its some sort of idealistic pursuit for the wolves and the dogs to get together without being on the proverbial clock. Unfortunately, these gatherings can also end up a place to play politics and bullshit. However, maybe the christmas party and its lofty goals still show we regard each other as people despite living in a world of wolves and dogs.

Another April

Where's the pac? Really it's just a lack of enthusiasm for the blog experience. Sometimes maybe, I dunno it feels like I have nothing creative at this point. It was weird looking at the last post and seeing that it was in July! I guess an update is in order. It's official, I have joined the ranks of the working stiffs of the world. That's really the biggest news at this point. After what was a quite stressful summer of uncertainty, insecurity and a little more of the same, September brought a new job and the beginning of arcticling and I guess the last step to be a lawyer. Am I excited? I thought I would be, as if this lawyer thing is some sort of glamor grab. Truth be told experience is the ultimate enabler of humility. In our post adolescent victory lap into our mid 20's the next step is the realization that we don't got all the answers and there are people in this world who are believe it or not...smarter than we are. So does this mean I'm hating the next step? Actually, I love my job. I been told that I would be a good criminal lawyer. Never really had an urge to take it up in school but for some reason, you end up where you end up. What I like about the job is that it's real. Its amazing how what happens at work can amuse, shock and sicken you. Maybe I like the role because I feel like some sort of underdog. Pissing off authority and all that maybe. The job is great, I enjoy the work, the people treat me fair and that's really all I want. But it does feel like starting over again for some reason. That's where the humility comes in. After finishing school and feeling like the cock of the walk, like you actually achieved something, here you go all over again. New people to meet, new work to be done, new experiences, and most importantly, you start anew earning respect. I think personally that's what seperates one from the other. This realization that respect is earned and given not as some sort of benefit or a gift from the gods. Since respect is never really given, it can't be. What you learn on the job is that it's only exchanged. Real early in this gig the one thing you have to wrap your head around is that no one is gonna respect you unless you respect them first. People in this world arent going to like me, but well, at least one can be civil. I think as people that one of our biggest problems is the ability to accept our enemies as being our equals. So here's the deal wit the rest of life. Besides the professional things its been a strange couple of months. Lost a couple of people. Hard to understand and really appreciate life or death. I don't know, when you think about it, it's hard to contend with the conflict in your mind about it. Other than that, the last couple of months have been what they've been. For some reason the stifled creativity seems to want to come out of me at this point. I feel like i'm in the middle of the pier, a seagull looking out to the horizon wondering where that next fish is coming from. This is at my most vulnerable, this is me, this is real.