eat fresh mother%$#@er!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shitheaded
Unbelievably
Bitch-made
Wack
Ass
York Lanes pricks!

This has been building for a while, after learning that I wasn’t the only one who had a self-imposed boycott of this place and as I have recently been sharing horror stories among my peers about it, it finally needs to be said. Today, in all my fury, I address the jackoffs who run a certain sub franchise at York.

I would like to begin my talk about these guys with some constructive criticism. These guys are ©unts. My man Chuck D said it best, “gotta shut ‘em down!”

As a former sandwich artist, it pains me to see the depths to which our craft can sink. Dammit I was good. Put it this way, if whatever God you believe in came to earth just to make a sub, it would only taste slightly better than mine.

First of all, they are skimpy with the vegs. Yo, I’m already dropping 10 bucks on a sub you’re gonna skimp on some lettuce that comes from a bag that costs about a buck and change? I’m onto you, hell, I used to order those same bags of lettuce. Check this, and sometimes they put a lid on top of the cucumbers pretending they don’t have them. What kind of a jackass do they take their customers for? It’s a clear lid jerk, I think I can tell there’s cucumbers underneath.

Don’t even ask for extra toppings, these people look at you like you politely asked if you could shove a broomstick up their ass. Dude, when you're making my sub I don’t expect you to be grinning from ear to ear, but I can sure as hell do without that surly attitude that creates this almost uncontrollable compulsion for me to punch you in the face. God forbid, the heavens will fall and your life will never be the same just because I got an extra slice of tomato on a club!

Ten bucks for a sandwich!!!!!!

So here’s my story, its about midnight during first year when I lived on campus. Only place open. I go there, had little cash so I decided to card it. Instead of punching in $5.69 as the amount, dude puts in $55.69! I told him I refused to sign that nonsense, and he got the nerve to get mad at me!

“Buddy, I can get in trouble for this.”
“So void the transaction, put the money back on the card!”
“I don’t know how”
“Get the manager”
“I am the manager”

WTF?!? I forced him to call the franchise owner, and some shit-faced bastard picks up asking what this is all about. I explain to him I want my money tonight and ask him to tell this walking waste of space how to reverse the charge on the card. Then he says:

“I don’t know how to do it either”

So then I ask, when does someone come in that knows how to reverse the charge? They tell me the next afternoon after two. Luckily (the importance of this will become apparent later), I get a cell and home number off the franchise owner, get the name of the numbskull employee and the name of the guy I’m supposed to meet tomorrow. And initial moron-sandwich artist promises to leave word at the shop for the guy who knows how to run the credit card machine. Maybe they could have comp’d the sub after all this trouble…nope, I still had to pay for the sub!

The next day…

Can y’all guess what happened next? He didn’t leave word with day manager! So I gotta spend another fifteen minutes arguing with this guy since (1) he didn’t believe my story and (2) he refused to call the franchise owner.

So out of desperation, after dropping the “I’m a lawyer card” and the loudest “just call the fucking owner!” I could muster, he calls the owner. Owner of course confirms my story and all was well with the world. Did I even get a “sorry for the inconvenience” from these people…what do ya think?!